Thursday, September 06, 2007

Could it Be???

Really? Have i not updated since May??? Does it matter? I feel like i am talking to myself sometimes. Like i am in a cave and just listening to my own echo.....Hellooooo?? Helllooooooo!!!!
Well for all you who aren't reading this, here is how things have been since May.
School ended. We had a bit of summer. I had surgery in July. Recovered. And Now it is September. Nice and quick. Not painless however!
Really though, the summer was a bit slow and maybe boring for the kids. Let me just add that to my list of mommy guilt. (not really. i try to keep that list to a minimum!)
At the top of my head, i really don't know what to report about that, so i will continue on to school! Emilio started 5th grade and Cruz 2nd. And Francesca started kindergarten, and yes, Liliana, preschool! Everyone seems happy and adjusted to their teachers. I expected Frankie and Lili to need me a bit more but they didn't. I expected to cry and get all emotional when i left them in their class cuz they need me so......but nothing. Just a happy wave goodbye!! My response? "hmmmm, uh, ok. Bye" So i realized i have a little hang up about being needed. I think it is time to let them go a bit. And i am a firm beleiver that it is my job to empower my kids to be independant and strong. I need to stop doing so much for them and let them discover a little responsibility and accountability. So i guess i will start and stop talking about it. right?
Because if i am so needed then i don't have to move on and start something new for myself. That is the truth behind all this! Cat's out of the bag! My fear! I have been a mommy for ten years! I'm so good at it now (questionable at times, i know) How could i possibly do something else?????
Which brings me to my new endeavor of substitute teaching! Although close to being the mom and babysitting i know..........but i will get paid real money for it!!!!!!!!! YAY!!!
To Be Continued!!!!!!